September 14th , 57 years ago, my parents said “ I do” and our family was created from that day and time.
September 14th, one year ago, my husband of six and a half years, known for 13, left me. Yes, the divorce was mutually decided on, but he he took a new job and new place to live without hesitation, in another city.
Prior to this decision, we moved around from 2015 to 2017. From Central Ohio to South Carolina, to Charlotte, North Carolina back to southern Ohio. I reside in Cincinnati Ohio now, on my own. That’s where he left me. He wanted his career, after numerous jobs he jumped and to be closer to his family, the same family he moved away from in 2015 for yes, a better job. See how this worked?
Even though we moved so much, I landed excellent jobs wherever we moved, but was always uprooted within 8 months, because his job was ‘not satisfying’ enough for him. We weren’t clearly a team like my parents were. But then again, my father wasn’t a narcissist and my mother was respected by him for all she did for our family. Again, see how this worked?
I lived through my parent’s moments of being laid off from their jobs, but never once did we move. My dad’s exit from the railroad and my mom’s one insurance company folding kept us in the same home, same city, same school district. Both my parents were hard workers, with high working standards and morals. My father never asked my mother to jump her jobs on his behalf of finding another or asked my sister and me to move to relocate and find new friendships. Family stability was everything to them both. It wasn’t a give and take marriage to better one more than the other—they were partners in life, for good. It was a strong bond of love-“Till death do us part”—my father passed away April 1, 2008—my mother joined him three years later August 3, 2011.
What a difference their life of love and respect for each other and our family made my life complete.
Today I am residing in an apartment I can afford, with the same job I had when I was married (we divorced 12/30/2019)—just now full time and more responsibilities that even Covid couldn’t shake.
Today I am without a homelife of stress, manipulation, and unsettling love.
I come home with no one nagging me, expecting dinner to be made the minute I walk over the threshold, or have the dog taken out immediately, because someone was too busy playing a video game to bother to her needs. This someone was an adult of course, not a high school student living with us. An adult.
Today, I make what I want for dinner—from a fridge and cabinets filled with healthy food. I make dinner when I am ready, after a breather from my busy day. The keywords—when I am ready.
I have ownership of the remote for the TV, with a non-existent cable bill, not because I can’t afford it, but because I don’t desire a high bill of channels I could never watch all in one evening.
I open my windows for fresh air. I turn on warmers for fresh scents I like, not expensive candles anymore.
I play music now, too! MY MUSIC. I play desired tunes in the bathroom when I shower, when I am cleaning my small comfy abode or on Saturday mornings, when I am getting ready to go to start my weekend with the new love of my life.
Oh yes. I have love in my life now, too. A year later, I have— love.
I could go on and on how this date has changed me. But, in honor of my parents, I am going to just point out how this date took me to love.
I wish my parents a Happy 57th Wedding Anniversary. Thank you mom and dad for the love you gave me in my life and showed me what you two shared till your ending.
Wow, what a difference a year makes, for me. An ending I didn’t expect, but now the start of a life I deserve.
…….Sully Lived It